Roar Read online

  She smiles proudly and I can’t help but admire her. She’s achieved a lot in a very short time.

  “Why are you asking all this? You still haven’t told me how you found out about it. If there’s an information leak, I need to know.”

  “You remember how I told you about the collars they used at the Pack where Lennox and I grew up?”

  “Yes, they stopped you from shifting and made you easier to control. Awful.” She shivers and looks like she’s about to reach out for my hand, but then leans back on the leather sofa and raises her eyebrows, encouraging me to continue.

  “Not just easier to control. Some shifters lost their free will when wearing the collars. They became mindless slaves, following every command. Lennox and I were strong enough not to be fully under their control, but it did make it hard to rebel.” I sigh and ready myself to tell her the news. This isn’t going to be pretty. “A group of sirens, led by Lord Delaney, have developed a new kind of collar, except that it’s not made for shifters. It’s for humans.”

  Her eyes widen in shock. “Humans?”

  “Yes, specifically you and all the other politicians gathering here. They’re going to turn you into their puppets. A coup that doesn’t involve toppling the people in power. To the people, it will look like everything’s still the same. If politicians start coming up with laws suppressing them, they’ll blame the politicians – you – without ever suspecting you may be controlled by others.”

  “That can’t be true,” Lady Lara stammers. “This isn’t possible.”

  Gryphon clears his throat. “Trust me, it is. For a siren, shifters are harder to control than humans. I believe the previous collars worked only on shifters because most of them have an intrinsic urge to follow an alpha’s commands. The collar replaced the alpha, exploiting that genetic vulnerability. Now they must have found a different way for collars to work, maybe copying siren abilities.”

  “You’ve started using anti-siren technology,” I continue. “So have others. It would be only a matter of time until other politicians catch on and do the same. Lord Delaney is the Prime Minister’s advisor. I doubt he got there with simply using his charming personality. We can assume that the PM is being controlled by sirens already and has been for a while. The development of anti-siren tech now forced them to take this step, making sure you’re all able to be controlled.”

  “How do you know?” the mayor whispers.

  “The Delaney’s have a daughter. She’s dead now, just like her mother, but we were able to get some information from her.” I don’t mention that the Hypnotisse was already dead by the time we syphoned the intelligence from her. “She was on the way here to help with the siren plan. We’re not a hundred per cent sure what her role was going to be, but she was in control of mutant wolf shifters, far stronger than your average shifter. Maybe they wanted her to provide the security for the event, making sure nobody escaped while the collars were put on you and the other politicians. I assume all of you were planning to bring bodyguards, so having her and her mutants would have made it easy to deal with those.”

  “Most sirens don’t have fighting skills,” Gryphon explains. “They’re used to manipulating those around them with their minds. They need others to do the dirty work for them.”

  “But…” Lady Lara stammers. I’ve never seen her lose her composure like this. It’s like her confidence has drained away within seconds. “How can they do that?”

  “Humans are at the bottom of the food chain,” I tell her, sounding harsher than I intended. “You don’t know it, but it’s true. Sirens and shifters have evolved further. To be honest, it’s a surprise the sirens have stayed in the background this long. I suppose it makes it easier if you don’t have to do all the paperwork yourself. All this time, they’ve filled their coffers, lived at the expense of others, while making sure their interests were always protected. You can be sure that Delaney isn’t the only siren who’s got a role high up in politics.”

  Gryphon pulls a note from his pocket. “The MacFays have given us this list of important people who they think are sirens. I’ve not had a chance to confirm it yet, but Ryker’s cats are on it.”

  Ryker nods. “I’ve trained some of them to sniff out the difference between humans and sirens. No guarantee that my cats will find the people on the list though, it’s not like they can ask them their name to make sure.”

  “Which is why I shall investigate tomorrow,” Gryphon adds. “First thing. But now we should get home, Kat hasn’t slept at all.”

  I get up and realise how heavy my boobs have become. I groan. “And I need to feed the litter. Now I know why people in the past had wet nurses.”

  By the time we get home, the sun is slowly rising over the horizon, drenching the world in orange light. I roll my shoulder and turn towards the sun, letting it caress my face. I wish I could curl up out here and sleep for at least a day. Instead, I have babies to feed and plans to make.

  At least the guys had some sleep. I’ve been up for what feels like forever. I’ve broken into a guarded manor house, killed an important woman, freed two captives and interrogated them, had a naming ceremony, killed some mutant wolves and their leader, and then on top of that woke the mayor for a crisis meeting. I should get a medal for squeezing all that into one day. It's no surprise I'm shattered.

  I almost fall asleep while feeding the babies, although their nips and bites stop me from fully slipping into the land of dreams. Ryker is by my side, taking one baby and handing me the next, making sure I don't have to get up from my nursing chair. When he passes me Tailie - no, Liat - he stifles a yawn. He may have had a few hours shut-eye while I was out running, but it wasn't enough.

  Liat latches on and wraps his tail around my arm. He does a little chirpy sound while drinking, almost a purr. I exchange a look with Ryker and he grins happily.

  "Yes, that was a purr. His first proper purr. I'm so glad I stayed awake with you."

  I stroke Liat's head and smile down at him. His eyes are closed, hiding his bright yellow pupils. He looks so cute that I want to bite him.

  Once he's finally done, I stagger to the bedroom where Gryphon and Lennox are already spread out, deep asleep. How dare they. Gryphon's arm is spread out so his hand touches Lennox's shoulder, which means they take up the entire bed. I sigh. I'm too tired to fight for space on my own bed.

  "Next door?" Ryker whispers and I nod, grateful he understands without me telling him.

  We snuggle up on the smaller bed in the guest room, him spooning me from behind. I'm too tired to protest and simply let his embrace carry me into the depths of sleep.

  The smell of bacon wakes me. I lick my lips and open up wide. A rash of crispy bacon is lowered into my mouth and I rip it out of Lennox's hand with my eyes still closed. It's perfect.

  "Did you put some catnip syrup on it?" I ask after devouring the bacon in record speed.

  "Don't tell Lily. She doesn't approve."

  I groan. "She never approves of anything fun. I think she didn't just hide my catnip supply, she threw it away."

  "No, she didn't. I know where it is."

  I open my eyes and glare at him. "You do?"

  "Not telling you. I'll keep it for special occasions." I throw my pillow at him, but he evades it easily. "Call it my insurance policy."

  "Why would you need insurance?" I ask before snatching the second piece of bacon from his hand.

  "You won't leave me while I have the catnip."

  I stop chewing and simply stare at him. He's not meeting my eyes, but his heartbeat gets faster. I sit up straight and reach out to him, pulling him close until he ends up sitting on the bed next to me.

  "I have no intentions of leaving you," I say firmly. "You're stuck with me. But why would you even think that?"

  "It doesn't matter. Shall we have proper breakfast?"

  He motions to get up but I'm faster. I grab his chin and force him to look at me. "Tell me."

  "I shouldn't have said that. It's fine."r />
  "Do I need to get my knives?"

  Lennox grimaces, then looks down at the bed, making sure not to look me in the eyes. A cold fear is slowly running down my back. Does he want to break up with me? Did I do something wrong?

  "When you were gone, kidnapped I mean, I missed you. At first, I didn't know how to go on. Life without you seemed pointless. I know that sounds stupid because it's not like we've been together for years, but that's what it felt like. Everything was so empty. Yes, the others were still there and we kept ourselves busy with searching for you, but it was the worst time of my life. And that includes being collared and enslaved by the Pack."

  I take his hands and squeeze them, putting as much love into that touch as I can. I want to hug him, but I know there's more he wants to say.

  "When we found you, it was like the sun had finally risen after months of darkness. You weren't in the best condition, but you were alive and back with us. I thought life could go back to normal..."

  "But then I had four babies," I complete his sentence with a smile that feels fake.

  "That's not what I was going to say. The babies were unexpected, yes, but that's not the problem. My heart broke when you were taken. It's the same for the others; we've talked about it. We were shattered into pieces and you were the only one able to put them back together. Make us whole again. But..."

  This time, I wait out the silence and don't interrupt. It hurts to hear this. It's more painful than any physical pain he could inflict on me.

  "But you didn't feel the same," he blurts out. "Did you miss us as much as we missed you? Were you as broken? Or could you have gone on without us, living your solitary life once again?"

  His questions hit me like blades, stabbing deep into my heart.

  "Broken?" I ask quietly. "Of course I was broken. Of course I missed you. The thought of you out there was the only thing that kept me sane. Without you, I would have given in to Delaney's torture. So yes, I missed you. I was broken. I still am. I'm sorry if you don't see that, but it's the truth. I'm not good at showing what I feel. You know that, you've known me all my life. What am I supposed to do? Sit and cry? I can't do that. I've got children to look after now. I've got responsibilities."

  The pain has given way to anger, red hot and searing. How dare he. I was the one abducted, tortured, experimented on, not him. He only had to cope with my absence. So he missed me. Good. I'd expect that from my partner. Why does he think I didn't miss him? That I'd leave him? I just don't get it.

  "I know," he mutters. "I know, trust me. But-"

  "No buts. You can't expect me to lie here and mope about how much I missed you. What do I need to do to convince you? Cry? Grovel?"

  He sighs deeply. "Talk to us. That's all we ask. What I ask. Don't keep it all locked away. I know you love me, my heart knows that, but I need to hear it occasionally too. You're not an emotional person, I get that. Just...I love you. And I need more. More of you."

  "Maybe you should have realised that before you agreed to share me," I snap. "You can only have a third of me."

  "That's not what I mean and you know it. I'm fine with our family being a little bigger than the usual. I've got used to having Ryker and Gryphon around. You deserve them to be part of your life. But I can't help but feel like you're pushing us away and it hurts."

  Just like his words hurt. Every single one is a painful stab into the centre of my heart. My anger slowly drains away, leaving nothing but emptiness and exhaustion.

  "I don't know what to do," I mutter, horrified that I'm actually saying this. I shouldn't. This is private. But then, this is exactly what he's talking about. I need to share more. Even if it's fucking embarrassing. "I don't know how to show you what I feel. How do I see what's enough for you?"

  "I'm not sure. This is all new to me too. I've never been in a relationship before this, either. But I think we need to talk. You need to tell us what happened to you. No more secrets. Let's put everything out in the open. We've already told you a lot about what we were up to while you were captured, but I'm happy to answer whatever questions you may have. I think we mostly talked about what we did, not what we felt."

  "Well, you just told me that you missed me. That's enough for me."

  But I have to admit, it did feel nice to hear him say it. That he loves me. Maybe he's right, maybe we need to tell each other that more often. I assumed that they'd know, but it seems my men are idiots and don't see what's right in front of them. Typical.

  "Yes, we'll talk," I concede. "But not now. We've got a siren attack coming, plus I still haven't had the time to look into the murders near the town hall. And I need to talk to the MacFays again. And-"

  "No," he interrupts me brusquely. "If you're serious about working on us, you'll have to put us first. I know these things are important, but so are we. There'll always be something else that gets in the way. Yet another murder, another case. Stop putting us second. We're your family and we deserve to be a priority."

  "I feed the babies all the-"

  "Stop." He gets up and stares me down. He's angry, but there's more shimmering in those beautiful eyes of his. Disappointment? I hope not. I don't want to let him down. He's my oldest friend and as much as I hate to admit it, I care what he thinks. I don't want to be without him.

  Oh my, I'm about to puke. Too much emotion. How often have I mentally used the L-word now? I'm overdosing on love. That's dangerous for an assassin like me.

  "We're going to talk now," he commands.

  To my surprise, I nod. My body seemed to agree with him before my mind could catch up. Is this really the time? I don't think so. I've got things to do - but he's right, there'll always be things.

  "Alright. Are the others around?"

  I already know they are, I sensed them when I woke up. It's something I no longer have to consciously think about. I automatically search out for my mates, making sure I always know where they are. Maybe that's something I should tell them too. It might make them feel all warm and fuzzy.

  "You don't have to answer that," I say quickly before he has a chance to reply. "I already know. I always know."

  He gives me a small smile. "Let's have breakfast first. It's no good doing this on an empty stomach. After all, you ate all my bacon. I'm starving."

  I grin, a little unsure of what's about to happen but I know there's no other way.

  I'll have to battle my way through this like I always do.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Forget being tortured. This is worse.

  The three guys are sitting opposite me and I feel like I'm on trial for my crimes. They're squeezed together on a sofa too small for that and it looks as uncomfortable as I feel. I shouldn't have agreed to this.

  I crack my knuckles, breaking the silence. How I wish I could hit something right now. Or someone. Preferably involving a lot of blood and death.

  Lily has agreed to babysit while we're doing our 'intervention'. That's what she called it while giggling evilly. She knows exactly how much I hate this. Talking about my feelings. Bah. What a waste of time.

  "We've gathered here today-" Gryphon starts and I start laughing. I can't help it.

  "Seriously?"

  He shrugs. "I wanted to make it sound grown-up."

  "You made it sound like a wedding or maybe a funeral. Please don't tell me we're marrying?"

  Their faces are priceless. In a scary sort of way. Ouch. Did they actually plan to propose? I surely hope not. For one, we'd never find anyone willing to marry all four of us. Attenburgh is pretty advanced in their ways but not that much. And besides, I've never had any intentions of getting married. I was collared to the Pack all my childhood; I don't need a new leash tying me to someone.

  "We're not," he says tonelessly. "I suppose we should start by telling you why we wanted to do this."

  "You don't have to. Ryker and Lennox already did that. Extensively."

  Ryker has the decency to blush a little, but Lennox simply smiles at me smugly. He's happy he got his w
ay. Prepare for my revenge, pup, it'll be sweet and taste of catnip.

  "But I haven't. Before you begin, I just want to tell you that I love you. I've said that before and I will say it again and again, as often as it needs saying."

  "I love you too," I mutter under my breath.

  He chuckles. "I love to hear you say that. It feels right, like the truest statement ever spoken."

  "Stop being such a poet." Lennox elbows him in the ribs. "Do your knife metaphor."

  "Knife metaphor?" I ask curiously.

  Gryphon sighs. "I was saving that one for later. But alright then. Imagine a blade, sharp and of the best quality. It's the kind of dagger every assassin dreams of. There's only one problem: it's covered in the dried blood of its previous victims. So much blood that it's started to rust. Now it's no longer sharp, no longer reliable. If we want to make the knife as good as new again, we'll have to wipe off the blood and polish it. And-"

  "So I'm the knife?" I interrupt. "Are you calling me rusty?"

  Ryker snorts. "I told you that metaphor was silly, but you two idiots didn't listen."

  "Not silly," Gryphon grumbles, giving me puppy eyes. Shouldn't that be Lennox's job?

  "If you want to clean me, we could take this to the shower," I suggest. "I'm up for it."

  Lennox wiggles his finger at me. "Stop trying to distract us. It's not working."

  I flutter my eyelashes and push out my boobs. "It's not?"

  Gryphon laughs. "Kat, you're a lot of things, but a seductress is not one of them."

  I shoot him a deadly stare. “Just wait until I’ve got you tied down on the bed and-“

  “Kat,” Ryker interrupts. “Back to the issue at hand or we’ll be here all day. As much as I love spending time with you, we’re all aware of what’s happening out there. So, are you ready to share?”