Purrr Page 5

  "I don't think so, Kat. You've woken the siren and you better finish what you started."

  His eyes are green pools of desire, shimmering unnaturally. Is that the siren in him? Is there a physical change or did he just speak metaphorically?

  "My place, now, before I take you here and now."

  His voice is a husky whisper, and just like that, the heat is back, and with it, the urge to have him deep inside of me. Fuck rational Kat.

  I let him take my hand and lead me away from the crowds. Through narrow streets we go, almost running, both of us desperate to fulfil our urges.

  "If we're not there any time soon..." I threaten, my claws coming out once more. Letting him take me against a wall of a random house doesn't sound too bad just now. My blood is boiling, my body screaming for release. I need him, need him so much.

  I don't care that I've only just been with Ryker. And that I was with Lennox not too long ago. Right now, my cat senses are taking over, and cats take multiple mates. I no longer care about human conventions. I want what is mine, and Gryphon is a prize that I'm going to claim.

  "Almost there."

  He's out of breath; not sure if it's from running or suppressing his siren needs. I've never been with a siren before. Is it going to be different? Is he different, anatomically? Am I going to be surprised when I rip his black leather trousers off his body?

  A large tenement block looms over us, dark and brooding. Not a place I'd like to live in, but Gryphon pulls me through the front door, up two flights of stairs and then we're in his flat. We never make it to his bedroom.

  His clothes end up in a shrivelled mess on the ground, and then he's naked, gloriously naked in front of me. I let him keep his boots, and somehow the look of him in his high leather boots and nothing else turns me on even more. A primal desire makes me growl and push him against the wall.

  I put a hand around his throat, pinning him in place, and ravage his mouth, soaking him in, claiming him as mine. I thought the kiss in the street was wild, but this is something else. He gasps for air, and I realise I'm squeezing his throat too tightly. I lessen the pressure a little and he sucks in a deep breath. His eyes are fixed on mine, never wavering, never letting me out of his sight.

  And then he begins to sing.

  His voice is full-bodied like a cask of aged whisky, laced with honey, smooth like silk. His song wraps around me, hugging me tight, roaming over my body like a hundred hands.

  I step away from him, completely trapped in his enchantment. I take off my clothes, because the song tells me to, and present myself to him, my siren. His music caresses my body, touches me, makes me quiver.

  Gryphon stands there, his hands around his cock, singing while his eyes roam my body, watching as his song prepares me for him. My nipples become hard and perky as the invisible force wraps around my breasts. I moan, my hands desperate to touch something, to hold onto someone, but Gryphon is too far away. He must know what I need yet he revels in his power, in his control.

  The music fills my head, shows me images of him and me, entwined, connected, as one. I touch myself, rub my core, because that's what the song tells me to do. Maybe I could fight it, perhaps I could break the spell and run, but why would I? This is precisely what I want and need.

  Guided by the music, I step back until my naked back is against the wall, and spread my legs. Finally, Gryphon moves, walks towards me, his cock hard and ready, and then he's finally inside me, filling me all the way. The song turns wild and we fuck like animals, my claws breaking his skin, his teeth sinking into my neck while he pushes into me with fervour, making me moan with every thrust. We're no longer human, nor are we pretending to be. We are creatures of the night, made to follow our instincts, and the moment I realise that is the moment I let go.

  Nothing matters but him. His touch. His song. His body against mine. Our dance, to music he creates, a melody that is ours alone, born by the wildness in our hearts.

  My body is sore when I slowly resurface from the pure need controlling my mind. We're on Gryphon's bed which is too small for both of us, which is why I'm half on top of him, one of my legs dangling in the air. We've had a shower, then ended up on the rug in the living room, then on the bed, then another shower, now we're back on the bed, but the lust racing through my veins is finally dissipating. My muscles are aching from all sorts of strange positions that Gryphon's siren voice made us try. I'm not sure how much control he had about it all.

  There are no regrets, though. It was worth the soreness.

  I lick my lips, thirsting for some water, but getting up from the bed seems like too much of an effort. Instead, I rest on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

  "Thank you," he whispers.

  I blink open an eye. "Why?"

  "For accepting the siren. For not running away."

  I smile happily. "It was far too good to run away."

  He stretches his arms, banging his wrists against the wall. This room is entirely too small for two people. The entire flat is tiny, but I guess it's enough for only one person. I've not seen the kitchen yet, but I hope he's got his fridge stocked with junk food. I never eat healthy after sex. My body needs lots of calories to stock up with energy.

  "I can't do that with humans," he says quietly. I can't see his face, but I can hear the regret in his voice. "They usually end up dead. The siren is too strong."

  "They die from sex?" I ask incredulously.

  "No, from the energy the siren pulls from them. A bit like what succubi do, except that it doesn't have to be sex for the siren. It can feast on fear too. On most emotions, actually, but most people in my family prefer fear." He laughs coldly. "One of the many reasons why I left."

  "So.... does that mean you fed from me?"

  He slips his hand under my chin and lifts my head, forcing me to look at him. "You didn't realise?"

  "No."

  "But...you don't feel exhausted now? Drained?"

  "Yes, but that's normal after what we've just done. I don't feel more tired than I should."

  He frowns, still holding my head in place. "Strange, I feel like the siren has fed. It's content and relaxed. I've not felt this free in ages."

  "You talk as if your siren is separate of you. I thought you were a siren?"

  He grimaces. "I'm called a siren, that's my species, but I'm something in between while my siren part resides deep within me. Maybe it's me, maybe this is just a protective mechanism that I've developed to tell myself that it's not me doing all those things. But yes, it's separate, and I can control it most of the time, but when it hasn't fed for a while, it gets harder for me to control. Out there in the street, when you tempted me, I almost lost control. They only way I got it back for a while was promising the siren that I would bring you here. So that we could have you." He gently lowers my head to his chest again, probably so that he doesn't have to look at me anymore. I still saw the shame in his eyes, just for a second. He's blaming himself for something that didn't happen.

  "You didn't feed on me. I promise you that if I had wanted, I could have fought against the siren's song, but I didn't want to. I needed you as much as you needed me."

  He chuckles sadly. "I somehow doubt that."

  I take a deep breath, already regretting what I'm about to say. "I'm in heat. Like a cat. Well, I am a cat, so I guess I'm a cat in heat. Except that this has never happened before and I feel like jumping everyone and now after I've been with you it all feels so much better."

  The words ramble from my lips. My thoughts are all over the place. I shouldn't have told him. It's too embarrassing. Too revealing. Never tell others what they don't need to know. That used to be my rule. Don't expose yourself. Don't show them what you feel, what you think.

  I'm no longer strong enough to live by those rules. I've become weak. Emotional. Human. What I need is to run around as a cat for a couple of days to fight my humanity. Then stay away from Gryphon, Ryker and Lennox. And the other Meow people. I've become far too close to them. It's distracting me from what's really important.

  "You're in heat," Gryphon repeats. "Are you going to hump my leg anytime soon? Should I be worried that you might pee on my shoes?"

  I sit up and look at him, half angry, half amused.

  "My cat used to do that," he explains with a wry smile. "Sat on my favourite shoes and literally filled them with her pee. You can't imagine what a relief it was when we had her spayed."

  I stiffen.

  His smile grows wider. "Don't worry, I have no intentions of having you spayed. Although I'm sorry, the siren never thinks about things like protection. Do you... could you get pregnant?"

  I stare at him in surprise. I'd not thought of that.

  "I doubt it. Maybe if I slept with another cat shifter, but..."

  Fuck.

  Chapter Seven

  If there is a pregnancy test for cats, I've never seen one before. Instead, I pop by the pharmacy and get myself some morning-after pills. They're for humans, but in the end, it would be human me giving birth, not cat me. At least I've never heard of a shifter whose animal form got pregnant. That would be... well, who am I to judge.

  By the time we're back at the Meow headquarters, my earlier happiness has slowly given way to the same familiar urge as before. I think it's getting worse. I already feel ready to fuck someone again. This can't continue like that. I'm not that kind of person. There's far too much work to do and I cannot neglect Meow because of my stupid hormone issue.

  "You've been gone for a while!" Lily shouts from upstairs as soon as I step foot inside. "Is Gryphon with you?"

  "Yes," he calls back, giving me a questioning look. I shrug. No idea what Lily wants him for.

  "Kat?"

  This time it's Bethany shouting from the lab below us.

  I sigh. "Why does everyone want stuff from me?"

  Gryphon laughs. "That's why I'm a freelancer. I have no idea how you do it, being responsible for other people besides yourself."

  "Trust me, most days I regret it."

  I sigh again and head downstairs, deciding that Beth might have a more exciting and urgent problem for me to solve. After all, she was working on the cloning experiments the Pack have done.

  She meets me at the door to her lab, already taken off her coat.

  "Is Ryker there?" she asks.

  "No idea, I only just came home. Why?"

  "I tested Pumpkin's DNA. I think I should tell him first."

  I nod. "Is it good news?"

  "Depends on whether you want Pumpkin to be a shifter or not. But I also found some interesting stuff about your cl... siblings."

  "What?"

  Both nervousness and excitement rise up in me.

  "I know what happened to at least two of them."

  I stare at her in surprise, then grab her by the shoulders.

  "Tell me. Now."

  "They were sold."

  Pieces of me shatter. Sold. Like livestock. Like slaves.

  "Where? When?" I whisper, desperately trying to stay in control.

  "A couple of years ago. K4 and K5."

  "Who did they sell them to?"

  Even asking that question leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

  "Stormborough, according to the records. They're twins and were sold to something or someone called Trauerstein. I'm afraid that's all I can tell you, all I have is an invoice."

  She swallows hard, sharing my pain.

  An invoice. Like you use for goods being sold. Not children. Not girls exactly like me. I'm beginning to think that I had it the best out of all ten of us. I got out of it alive without being permanently harmed. Now I have a life, I make my own decisions, I'm my own woman. I'm free. My siblings though, who knows how many of them are even still alive. Forty-three of us never survived past our first year of life. It's all so wrong.

  "I've never heard of anyone called Trauerstein. Maybe it's an organisation like the Pack. I'll ask the others, one of them might know."

  I turn and walk away from her, hiding my face. I don't want her to see that I'm about to cry.

  Cats don't cry. Humans do. Right now, I'm as human as they come, locked inside the bathroom, trying to stem the flow of tears. Maybe it's the imbalance of hormones raging within me. Maybe it's because I'm sad.

  Before I met Little Kat, I never knew that there were more of me. Now that I do, it scares me to bits that not all of us might still be alive.

  "Kat?"

  Halfway up the stairs, Ryker corners me. I hadn't even realised he was in the house. He's holding little Pumpkin in his arms, his muscles bulging around the little kitten. Pumpkin happily meows at me. He has no idea about what's going on. I wish I could say the same.

  I wipe my eyes, making sure no treacherous tears show.

  "What's wrong?" Ryker asks, running his eyes over me as if he's looking for injuries. No, he can't see my wounds, those are deep inside; scratches on my heart, bleeding gashes that won't ever heal.

  "I'll tell you later."

  My voice is choked and brittle. Better if I don't talk too much right now. I don't want him to see how weak I feel just now.

  "Alright, I'll hold you to that. Lily told me that Bethany has got the results of Pumpkin's blood test." He ruffles his son's fur. "Want to come and find out what he is?"

  Going back to the lab? Facing Beth again, being reminded of what she just told me?

  "No, you go, I think it's better if you do that on your own."

  Disappointment flicks over his face, but it disappears quickly, pushed away by concern.

  "Sure you're alright?"

  I shrug. "Go, talk to Bethany."

  I think if he didn't have an impatient Pumpkin is his arms, he'd stay and interrogate me, but luckily, the kitten meows loudly and Ryker walks away with a sigh.

  Finally alone.

  I slowly walk up the stairs, heading to my bedroom. My hammock and a thick blanket sound just like what I need right now. Hiding from this cruel, terrible world.

  "Kat?"

  I whirl around, glaring at Lennox. Why can't they all just leave me alone? "What?" I snarl.

  "Nothing," he stutters, taken aback by my anger. "Is something wrong?"

  I look at him. Seriously?

  And then I start laughing. He's asking me if something's wrong. Hilarious.

  Choked laughter turns into hysterical giggles. Lennox looks at me helplessly, but then I'm in his arms and he's holding me tight, his arms wrapped around me like the blanket I'm craving. I freeze, my laughter stops. I should run. Hide. Get away from him. I don't want him to see me like this.

  But then he rubs my back and I let go. Tears drop onto his shirt, the wet evidence of my pain. I'd much prefer being wounded. An injury leaking blood is so much easier to deal with than my eyes pouring with tears.

  His hands draw gentle circles on my back, forcing me to relax into him. I let him pull me close, let him hold me, almost afraid that he might push me away any second now. He doesn't know this Kat. I've always been strong around him. Now, I'm not. I'm the opposite. Broken, sad, desperate for warmth. I need someone to tell me that everything will be alright, that my world will become a better place than it is now, but of course, I can't ask him to do that.

  And I don't need to.

  "Everything will be okay," he whispers softly as if he's read my thoughts. That makes even more tears quell from my eyes. "We'll find a way to get through this, Kat. You always survive, and you will this time, too. We'll get out at the other end and we'll be better for it."

  I'm not quite sure what he means, but I let him soothe me with his whispered words, soaking them in like sun on a rainy day.

  He shifts a little and I cling to him, scared that he'll leave.

  "Don't worry," he whispers, "I'm just taking you somewhere more comfortable."

  He lifts me into his arms, holding me against his chest, cradling me like a child. The normal Kat would kill him for that, but she's gone, her place taken by me, the weak, vulnerable Kat. I let him carry me into the living room. He sits me down on the sofa, gently touching my head, and walks away, locking the doors from the inside. That's Lennox, always aware of everyone's needs. He knows I don't want anyone to see me like this, so he's making sure that nobody will.

  He returns to me, sits down by my side and wraps me in his arms once more. My tears are still flowing but my sobs are getting less. Him being here with me is helping. He grounds me, makes me feel safe.

  I close my eyes and lean into him, letting him stroke my hair and rub my back. With every touch, I calm down a little until I blink away the final tear. Still, I don't move. I don't want to break this moment. I've never felt so happy to have Lennox with me. He's just what I need. He's reliable, dependable, and, even though we've been apart for a decade, I know I can trust him. He won't exploit my weakness. No, he'll help make me better, just like I would do the same for him. We're friends and we always will be.

  Pumpkin is settled on my lap, snoring softly. He doesn't seem to care much about his DNA results, but his father is antsy, pacing the room while the rest of us are strewn all over the sofas. I'm leaning against Lennox's shoulder, but nobody has commented on that so far. Not Ryker, who I slept with on the attic floor, not Gryphon, who I fucked like an animal in his flat. There's no jealousy in their eyes. Surprising. Maybe I've misinterpreted their intentions. Or maybe they're simply all self-confident enough not to doubt that I care for others more than I care for them.

  Lily has made us some hot chocolate - well, I think she's mostly made it for me after seeing my red-rimmed eyes and puffy nose - and Bethany has donated some of her favourite chocolate biscuits. Ben is noisily munching on two of them at once, interrupting the silence that has fallen over the room.

  Ryker finally stops pacing and comes to a stop behind the sofa opposite me. His eyes are wild, even more feline than they usually look.

  "Pumpkin isn't a full shifter," he says abruptly, drawing all eyes to him. "But he's also not quite a cat, according to Bethany's results."

  He runs a hand through his hair, obviously at a loss of what to do. I'd hoped he'd get a definite answer with the DNA test, but it seems it only made things even more confusing.