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  Suddenly, I’m on my back and he’s on top of me, his massive body pinning me down. He grabs my wrists and pushes them above my head, exposing my body to him. I glare into his amber eyes, the colour of honey and sunshine. I could fight him and I’d probably win, but I want to see what he does. He flashes me a grin, then takes my nipple into his mouth, sucking, nibbling, biting. I moan at the sweet pain, craving more. He takes my sounds as encouragement and bites my breast, his teeth sinking deep into my skin. I buckle beneath him, groaning as bliss races through my body, all the way into my toes, reaching every inch of me.

  I need him inside me. This isn’t enough.

  He bites my other breast, leaving his marks on my skin. I feel blood trickle down my skin and it turns me on to new heights. The pain mixes with my pleasure, creating new things in my twisted mind.

  “My turn,” I growl and flip him over. He gasps in surprise, not expecting my strength to match his. I turn, crouching above him, my thighs pressed against his ribs, my head above the prize. A little more careful this time, I slice through his jeans, my claws sharp enough to cut the fabric without a problem.

  I smile, the predator in me coming to the surface. There he is. Hard and ready for me. Still smiling, I lower myself, my arms on his thighs, until he’s in reach. I kiss his tip, licking away the first drops of desire. He groans and tries to move, but I press my thighs against his chest, making sure he stays the way he is.

  I take him into my mouth, but I’m not gentle. My teeth scrape his skin, eliciting sounds that spurn me on to take him deeper, almost swallowing him. His hips jerk up, making me gag, but I love it, love every moment.

  The tingling in my body has turned into flames, burning through my veins, erasing any restraint that I may have shown. I straighten, rip a hole into my sweat pants with a swipe of my claws, tear at my panties and lower myself onto him. He groans in surprise, but I push down, taking him without giving myself the time to adjust. He’s big, almost too much so, but the pain is what I need, what I crave.

  I sway my hips, slowly at first, then fast, fucking him, taking him, claiming him.

  Our groans and pants merge into a beautiful song, lifting my spirits, carrying me to the heights of pleasure before letting me tumble down the waterfall, in his arms, together.

  Cold eyes stare down at me. I don’t recognise the man. The lower half of his face is hidden behind a mask, but his eyes are enough to make me shake with fright. Evil glints in his black pupils, cold ice in the blue around them. I try to move, but there is metal around my wrists and ankles, holding me in place. I fight against my bonds, but I dimly remember that I’ve been here before, that I never manage to escape. I’m trapped.

  “Don’t worry, it will be over soon,” the man whispers, but it’s not reassuring me. On the contrary, the fear paralysing me is only getting worse.

  “And you won’t even remember this ever happened.” His eyes narrow as she smiles underneath the mask.

  No, I have to remember. Traces of memories are flittering through my mind, of having been here before, hearing him say the same words, over and over. I can’t forget this time. I mustn’t. If I don’t remember, I’m vulnerable. Ignorance could mean death.

  He reaches up and lowers something metal down from the ceiling, some kind of machine. A light shines bright, too bright, and I close my eyes, even though I feel like I need to see what happens. If I don’t see, I can’t remember.

  “This may hurt a little,” the man says with a chuckle, and then cold metal touches my forehead and the world explodes into screams.

  A scream makes me sit up straight. I look for the danger, the victim, but the only person in the room with me is Ryker, his body curled around me.

  “Shhhh,” he whispers and pulls me back down into his arms. “You were having a nightmare.”

  “But someone…”

  Oh. It must have been me who screamed. Embarrassment clouds my mind. I never scream. I never let anyone know about my nightmares.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  His voice is soft and gentle, just like his eyes as he looks at me with sympathy.

  I shake my head. “I don’t even remember.”

  He nods and smiles. “Your fur has gone.”

  I touch my cheeks, surprised despite his words. Smooth skin greets me, no trace left of the fur that covered me before I fell asleep. In a way, I’m glad, but at the same time, I remember how Ryker looked at me with desire, how he craved me despite, or maybe because of, my feline side, and I almost wish the fur was back. The hunger inside of me is barely sated, despite spending hours with him inside me. A pleasant ache between my legs reminds me of what we did, how we joined.

  Strangely enough, I’m okay with being in his arms. I snuggle against him, barely recognising myself. I don’t snuggle. I don’t hug. I certainly don’t fall asleep in a man’s embrace. What the fuck is wrong with me? It must be the heat thing. It’s making me soft, needy. I hope it passes soon.

  “How long are cats in heat for?” I whisper, a little angry when he starts to grin.

  “It can be weeks, months, who knows. Spaying helps, but I doubt you want that.”

  I resist the urge to protectively place my hands on my abdomen. “Nobody is touching my ovaries,” I snarl.

  He chuckles. “Didn’t think so. Are there any other female shifters you could ask? Dogs go into heat too, right?”

  I usually stay away from other shifters, mainly because they’re all controlled by the Pack. The few who’ve managed to remain outside the Pack are either crazy or not powerful enough to be of any use.

  “No,” I admit, “but maybe Lennox knows someone.”

  I could ask him without mentioning the heat thing. I don’t want everyone else to know, but I could innocently ask him if he has any female shifter friends. If he takes that as me being jealous, so be it.

  “The only shifters I’m aware of are male,” Ryker says with a regretful smile. “And as cats, we never much cared about what side they’re on. They ignored us and we ignored them. Of course, that’s going to change from now on.”

  I suddenly remember something I’ve wanted to ask for a while. “Pumpkin, is he a shifter too?”

  His smile wavers. “I don’t know and I have no idea how to find out. He’s not shown any signs, but then, neither did I. I would never have known if you hadn’t done that blood test. Maybe you could test him too?”

  “Tell him to go to Bethany or Lily, they’re the experts. I can draw blood, but I have no idea how to do the DNA comparison stuff.”

  He nods, hope flashing in his eyes. “Do you think it’s likely? That he’s a shifter even though he’s got a cat mother?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine.” A yawn interrupts my words. “I need some tea or I’ll fall asleep again.”

  He flashes me a grin. “I know something else that might keep you awake.” His hand finds my breast and he squeezes gently. So different from last night. The scratches and bite marks he left have disappeared together with my fur.

  Along with it, all the pains and aches left from almost dying – well, I actually died, my heart stopped according to Lily – have gone, making me feel better than I have in days. I might almost be ready to go downstairs and see what’s been going on at Meow. Then I think of the stacks of paperwork likely waiting for me and decide to do more important things first. Like grabbing some food and tea.

  I get up, leaving behind a disappointed Ryker. I smile at him. “Later. I’m starving.”

  Understanding seeps into his yellow eyes. “Do you want me to-“

  I pull on some yoga pants and relief reflects on his face. “You’re getting up. You’re going downstairs. That’s good.”

  I chuckle. “Yes, that’s good. I’ve got an assassin business to run, and more importantly, I’ve got the Pack to destroy once and for all.”

  Chapter Three

  I drink half the bottle of milk before even thinking about tea. Seems I’m still in cat mode. By the time the kettle is boiling, I’m sitting on the floor, the secret bag of catnip on my lap. Bliss. Almost as good as sex.

  I no longer care about the tea, nor about the loud whistling of the kettle.

  “Can someone please turn that off?”

  Lily bursts into the kitchen, then breaks into laughter when she sees me on the floor.

  “Are you high?”

  I grin at her. “Not at all.”

  My mouth finds it hard to form the words, but that doesn’t matter. I’m a happy cat. Yummy catnip.

  "You can talk." Lily looks at me in surprise, and it takes me a moment to figure out why that shocks her.

  "Oh. Yes. You can understand me."

  Her eyes widen as she focuses on my mouth. "You're no longer meowing."

  "Yes, I'm talking human again. Now leave me alone, stop guilt-tripping me."

  Usually, this would be a big deal - I've got my voice back! - but the catnip is making it all seem unimportant. I'm going to need some more of it.

  Lily sighs and takes the kettle off the flame and switches off the hob. “I think you need some coffee,” she tells me sternly. “And my special detox smoothie.”

  I groan at the thought. I don’t know what she puts into that concoction, but it smells and tastes disgusting. Plus, it takes away the woolly feeling the catnip gives me. I don’t want it to go. I like this moment. I don’t want it to end.

  I pop another catnip cookie into my mouth. I make these whenever Lily is out of the house. She’d never let me bake them when she’s around.

  “Katriona Feln, I’m not letting you turn into an addict,” she tells me and snatches the bag from my arms. The catnip makes me sluggish and my reflexes poor; that’s the only reason why she manages to steal my treats. Maybe I’ve had a little too much after all.
I can’t let her take away my catnip.

  I growl at her and flash some fang.

  She chuckles. “You’re adorable.”

  “Not the effect I was going for,” I grumble, my words slurred. “Gimme back my catnip.”

  “No way. I need you coherent. There are things we need to discuss.”

  I stare at her blankly. What is there besides the joys of catnip that we need to talk about? It can’t be important.

  “Where is Ryker? I thought he was with you?” she asks with a wide grin. She must know that he’s spent the night with me.

  “With his cats. There was something he wanted to do… I can’t remember.”

  Lily sighs. “I’m going to make that smoothie.”

  * * *

  She basically has to force the smoothie down my throat, but once I've given my stomach time to settle, I'm kind of grateful for it. The clouds mulling my brain are slowly disappearing, giving way to clarity mixed with traces of embarrassment. I've let myself go, lost control. It seems I'm changing not just on the outside. If this continues, who knows what kind of person I'll end up as. A catnip addict, slothing on the sofa all day, unable to gather the energy to even do a single hit. No, not going to let that happen.

  "Better?" Lily asks with a wry smile.

  "Lots. Now, tell me, what's been happening with Meow?"

  I'm glad she doesn't jab at me for not bothering with my business the past few days. She knows I would have been there if I could have.

  "Nothing much. We've got a few new cases that might interest you, but nothing urgent, so I've left them on your desk. Benjamin thinks he's found a group of bank robbers that he's trying to join, so please get that idea out of his head. We need him to do our own robberies, not do it for other people. Bethany is locked in the lab, she's working on something and won't tell me what it is. Besides that, it's been quiet. Your men have been here almost every second of the day, though."

  I almost spit out the last mouthful of smoothie. "My men?" I splutter. "You mean the men?"

  She snickers. "Trust me, they're not interested in anyone but you. It's taken the combined effort of all of us to keep them from beleaguering you, watching over you at all times. I only let Ryker up there because of your hair problem." She winks at me. "Glad that one's sorted. You look a lot less weird now."

  "Thanks. I better get some good razors if this happens again."

  Lily laughs. "Let's hope it was a one-off. I love you, but I prefer you as a human. Without a catnip addiction."

  She shoots me a stern glance, then walks off, leaving me to my own devices.

  I put the empty smoothie jug in the sink, hoping that it will magically clean itself. I know, no such thing as house elves, but a cat can dream.

  Lily said the men have been here most of the time, but now, the house is empty except for Lily and Bethany. I can hear Beth downstairs in the lab. A mysterious project? Call me intrigued.

  The lab door is locked, making all sorts of alarm bells ring in my head. Nobody ever locks that door.

  "Bethany?" I shout, putting on my stern boss voice. "Open up."

  The sounds of her working stop, but the door doesn't open.

  "Kat?" she asks, muffled through the thick metal door.

  "You know it's me. Now let me in before I get angry."

  She sighs and a moment later, the door opens, revealing a tired-looking Bethany. She's wearing a protective suit, turning my alarm bells into shrill sirens.

  "What are you doing?"

  I scan the lab behind her. The two workbenches are overflowing with equipment, so chaotic that I wonder what's Bethany turning into. Usually, she's so careful to keep everything tidy in here. The Bunsen burner behind her is still on, so I walk around her to switch it off. She moves to intercept me, but I'm faster, stepping to one side to see what she's been hiding behind her back.

  "What is that?" I ask sharply, staring at the manila folder bearing the Pack logo embossed on the front. "What are you doing with Pack documents?"

  She visibly cringes. "It's one of the files you guys brought back here. It's got some medical data that I've been wanting to explore..."

  She doesn't meet my eyes.

  "Medical data? Like what?"

  "Cloning," she whispers. "Not to replicate any of it, of course," she adds quickly when I'm just about ready to shout at her. "Just to understand what they did and how. It might help me figure out what they did to you and to Little Kat. We might be able to know how many others were involved. How many other clones there are."

  I'm tempted to reach out for the folder, but it's still too fresh, too sore. I need more time to accept what I am. What they've done to me.

  "I get that," I say slowly, "but what are you doing with all that equipment? Why aren't you just reading it? We would have done that eventually anyway."

  "There are some bits that talk about a particular drug that was given to all clones, but it doesn't say what it actually did. I thought if I followed the instructions and made it, then maybe I'd understand..."

  Her shoulders droop, but I don't let myself be deceived by that. "Were you planning to give this drug to me?" I ask sharply. "Or to Little Kat?"

  Her eyes widen, reassuring me that her intentions weren't threatening. Thank the great cat in the sky.

  "No, but once we have the drug, I thought I'd test your blood to see if there's any residue, even just the tiniest of traces. They gave it to you to have a lasting effect, permanent even, so I might be able to find evidence of that." Her expression hardens. "And if we ever find a clone who's not on our side... well, then we can test it on them."

  I'm surprised by the steel in her voice. She's not a vengeful person. She likes to mess around, have fun with her poisons, but she's not enjoying other people's pain.

  "Do you think we'll find other clones?"

  She shrugs. "According to this, there are several dozen, but we seem to be missing any files that would tell us whether they're alive or not. They've been focusing a lot on Little Kat though, so I doubt many of the clones in between you and her are still around. Probably failed to meet their expectations."

  I shudder. I still have no idea what their plans for me were, but seeing them experiment with kitten DNA to add that to shifters... not good. Mother nature is confused enough sometimes, we don't need humans meddling with that. Right now, I'm half human, half cat. If they added more cat, would that make me lose my humanity? Or worse, have they already done such a thing? Am I maybe not as human as I thought?

  I push those thoughts away. They don't help, and I need a clear head to come up with what to do next.

  "From now on, I want you to tell me exactly what you're doing with these files," I tell Beth sternly. She nods downtrodden, her eyes on the floor. "I know your intentions are good but we cannot let this information fall in the wrong hands. Or worse, let it corrupt us. We're going to stop them, not replicate their research, so once they're shut down, I want all of this destroyed."

  She looks as if she wants to protest, but then nods. Somehow, I've got a feeling like we're going to have to talk about this again.

  "Where are the other files that we got from the Pack lab?"

  She points to a metal lockbox in one corner of the room. "Most of them are in there, but Gryphon's got some and I think Lennox too."

  I groan. Great. The information is already spread all over the place. I trust Lennox, and yes, I think I trust Gryphon too, but I need to keep reminding myself that this is dangerous stuff. We can't risk any of those files getting lost, or worse, stolen.

  "Until I know what information we have, none of these are going to leave the house. I'm going to put that box into my office and if someone wants one of the folders, they'll have to come to me. Understood?"

  "Can I keep this one?"

  I sigh. "Yes, for now. But as I said, keep me informed of what you find out. And don't you dare ask me to be your guinea pig. Guinea cat."

  She laughs softly. "I wouldn't dare to. I know you have claws."

  If only she knew... those claws looked beautiful on Ryker's skin. Heat runs through my body, reminding me of the heat situation.

  "Ehm, Bethany?"

  "Yes?" Finally, she looks at me, her eyes filled with curiosity.

  "I don't suppose you found anything on cat shifter reproductive physiology in there?"