Alien Abduction for Professionals Read online

  Alien Abduction for Professionals

  The Intergalactic Guide to Humans #2

  Skye MacKinnon

  Alien Abduction for Professionals © Copyright 2021 Skye MacKinnon

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organisations, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  * * *

  Cover by Peryton Covers.

  Published by Peryton Press.

  * * *

  skyemackinnon.com

  Contents

  Lesson 1: Taking your abductee to a public place

  Lesson 2: Shopping for Rich(ish) Males

  Lesson 3: The Intricacies of Mating Toys

  Lesson 4: Introduction to Rescuing your Female

  Lesson 5: Nest building and Homemaking I

  Lesson 6: Nest building and Homemaking II

  Lesson 7: Breeding for Advanced Beginners

  Lesson 8: How to behave in a formal setting

  Lesson 9: First-Aid for Panicked Males

  Could you abduct a human?

  Piki Cakes Recipe

  The Intergalactic Guide to Humans

  About the Author

  Also By

  Blurb

  Getting probed by aliens was only the beginning...

  * * *

  I was abducted by incompetent aliens. They didn't know what they were doing and they still don't have a clue. Now that we're done with all the probing, they're taking lessons in 'Caring for Vulnerable Females' and 'Nest Building for Beginners' and want to turn me into their mate.

  * * *

  And no, they don't listen when I tell them I don't need a nest.

  * * *

  In theory, I could fall for these three hunky aliens who can bring me more pleasure than I ever dreamed of, but we're being watched and analysed every minute of the day. A creepy professor from the Intergalactic University uses us as examples for her lessons, sometimes with dangerous consequences, and there's nothing we can do about it.

  * * *

  I don't want to be a science experiment, but can I resist falling for the aliens who stole me from Earth?

  Trish

  I patted the wall, stroking it like a pet. “You’re a good little ship, Jade,” I muttered. “Please don’t fail.”

  The hull groaned in response and the floor beneath me shuddered.

  “This can’t be normal,” I exclaimed, glaring at the guys who’d been telling me that everything was okay.

  “No, it’s not,” Xil sighed. “We should have taken the long way round rather than flying through the nebula. It’s too late now. You better put on your seatbelt, it might get even bumpier.”

  He himself was already strapped into his chair, looking very much like the starship captain he was.

  “By A’Ta, what the klat are you doing?” Matar’s voice came through the intercom. He was down in the engine room, fixing something – his favourite pastime. To be fair, the Jade constantly needed repairing. She was an old lady who’d seen better days, but she’d been well looked after. The colourful corridors were proof of that, painted by Matar himself. It was the only time I’d ever seen him embarrassed, when I’d told him how much I liked his art. He’d muttered something about randomly throwing paint at the walls and that it was nothing, but I knew how pleased he’d been by my compliments.

  “Our captain decided to show off,” Havel explained mildly. “Which is why we’re now flying through a radioactive nebula instead of taking the scenic route around it.”

  “I wasn’t-“ Xil protested but was interrupted by a bang against the hull to my right. I jumped and realised I’d not put my seatbelt on yet. I quickly did so, just in case. I trusted Xil’s flying abilities, but this was the first time I’d encountered a nebula and wasn’t quite sure what that entailed. Until now, flying through space had mainly consisted of endless darkness with the occasional bright stars glittering in the distance. Not much different from looking up at the night sky on Earth, except that they were much brighter and everything felt more real. It was hard to describe the feeling of frightful wonder that overcame me whenever I looked out into the depths of space. Today though, we were going to visit a space station - a treat for me before we were turned into guinea pigs for Professor Katila.

  “Get out of there!” Matar shouted. “The engines are overheating, and the radioactive energy is affecting the shields. The Jade is too old for this, you should know that.”

  “She can do it,” Xil insisted. “We’re almost through. Don’t you want to spend extra time on Kitt-Y-6? This short cut will get us there before lunchtime.”

  “There might be some pawan steaks left. Trish, you need to try those. They’ll fill you up and… never mind.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Make you horny,” Xil chuckled. “Not sure if it’s the same for females, but if I eat an entire pawan steak, my cocks will be hard for hours.”

  “How is that even possible?”

  The Jade shook and groaned even worse than before, stopping the guys from answering. I was intrigued, but really, none of us needed aphrodisiacs. I’d lost count of how many times the guys had been inside me, how often I’d sucked them off, how often I’d had them between my legs. I should be sore, but Havel had given me a dose of medical nanites that were helping with any damage both space radiation and too much sex could do to my body.

  Space was dangerous, they'd told me that from the start. There wasn't much research on how humans fared if they spent more than a couple of months in space. I supposed that would be an extra bonus for Professor Katila. I was a guinea pig for both her research and her teachings. At least the guys were only used as examples for Katila's lessons.

  Again, the ship made noises reminding me of a cry for help. The Jade was suffering. Xil looked conflicted, but he didn't change our course.

  "Not much longer," he said soothingly. I wasn't sure if that was meant for the ship or me or him. "Almost through."

  I clung to my chair as we swerved and rattled through the nebula. I was starting to feel like I was about to be sick. As much as I appreciated a shortcut to get to the space station a little quicker, I didn't think it was fair on the Jade nor on my stomach.

  Kitt-Y-6 was the closest space station to Earth - or Peritus, as the entire galaxy except humans called it - and my guys had promised me a treat once we got there. I was excited, but also a little trepidatious. I was about to meet a whole lot of aliens. I'd only just got used to my own three aliens and the three-eyed professor who kept checking on us via video link. According to Havel, at least two thousand different species were strewn across the universe. And since not all of the universe had been explored, it was likely that there were many more. The majority of them weren't spacefaring civilisations, so I'd only get to meet around a hundred different kinds of aliens. I snorted. That was still a hell of a lot. Havel, Matar and Xil were all Kardarians, yet they had very different features. Havel was blue and had fangs, Xil sported yellow scales and two cocks (my favourite attribute!) and Matar's green skin was speckled with silver spots that sparkled in bright light. I wasn't sure what wonders would await me at the space station with so much diversity within one species.

  "Are there some kind of rules on Kitt-Y-6?" I asked to distract myself from the ominous rumbling the Jade was producing. "To stop peopl
e from eating each other?"

  Xil laughed. "Yes. All space stations are neutral zones. No eating, no fighting, no blood-sucking, no mating."

  "No mating?"

  "There have been intergalactic wars brought on by lovesick aliens," Matar explained. "If the wrong species come together to mate, it might even have catastrophic health impacts."

  "Not just for the couple," Xil added. "Badengas emit a toxic gas when they climax. It's supposed to protect them from predators during mating, but there was once a case where an entire space station had to be evacuated due to a Badenga having a little too much fun."

  I snorted with laughter. "I can see why that would be a problem. I guess we can wait with the mating until we're back on the Jade."

  Xil gave me a heated look. "We could always start now..."

  The ship lurched to the right and it took all my willpower to prevent my stomach from emptying its contents. No, can't say I was in the mood for sex. As hot as my three males were, puking on them wasn't high on my agenda.

  "How much longer?" I winced.

  "A half of your Peritus hours," Havel replied. "Which is about twenty IG clicks."

  He's explained the intergalactic time system to me before, but I found it very confusing. Since no species wanted to agree on which planet's rotation to use as a day, they averaged the amount of waking and sleeping hours most sentient species need. One IG day was about 27 Earth hours, while ten IG days made up an IG week. I kept getting mixed up with all the numbers, but luckily the guys had done their research and knew how to convert times and dates to what I was used to.

  "Aaaaaand we're out of the nebula," Xil announced. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, me loudest of all. The danger of puking was over.

  "You better get changed," Matar told me. "You showing this much skin might be dangerous, even on a station like Kitt-Y-6."

  Yes, it probably was a bad idea to go shopping while wearing nothing but my panties and a flimsy bra.

  I met the guys at the airlock. Xil had parked us in the station's spaceport and bought us an electronic parking ticket valid for something like six Earth hours. Enough time to explore. The guys had been making plans for days about what they wanted to show me.

  "Ready?" Matar asked me and took my hand.

  I nodded. "Let's go shopping."

  He slapped his tail on the ground, a gesture that I'd learned is close to him rolling his eyes. All three males didn't seem to think much of shopping, but I'd assured them that it was an essential pastime for Peritan women. I may have accidentally let them believe that it was necessary for us to survive...oops.

  "Remember the lesson," Xil told the guys. "We show Trish the best shops and will buy her whatever she looks at for at least thirty Peritan seconds. Some things we can buy in front of her, others we will have to do in secret to surprise her later."

  "You know I can hear you, right?"

  Xil ignored me. "We do have a budget, so let's avoid the more expensive places. No trip to the exotics market for you, Havel. We can't afford that."

  It was kind of sweet how they'd planned this entire trip with the same academic fervour they'd shown during the abduction, probing and mating. I knew they loved me, just like I loved them, and it wasn't all just because we were part of Professor Katila's course.

  "Matar, Havel, remember that this excursion won't be filmed for the IGU," Xil reminded them as if he'd read my mind. "We will have to write a detailed report later on, so maybe make some notes. We don't want to disappoint the professor."

  His last sentence was dripping with sarcasm. None of us was thrilled with the arrangement, but it had been the only way them pass their Alien Abduction for Beginners course. In return for a 'good' grade, we agreed to act as a case study for Professor Katila's Alien Abduction for Professionals class. The guys were given lessons every week that we then had to put into practice. This, taking me into a public place, was the very first one since we'd signed the contract.

  To be fair, the lesson wasn't technically about going shopping. That was just a bonus. No, they were supposed to expose me to other aliens without becoming jealous. They were also told to make sure I felt safe and didn't panic, but I didn't see much chance of that happening. I was buzzing with excitement, and there was no space for fear or worry.

  DEPRESSURISING COMPLETE, the computer announced, and the airlock doors slid open, revealing a massive hangar full of spaceships.

  It was big enough for at least four football pitches, maybe more. The ceiling was so high that I couldn't see how far it reached. All around us, the noise of engines, machines and aliens talking in dozens of languages pushed against my ears, making me stumble back. I hadn't expected it to be quite this intense. Even though I was sure those ships ran on a fuel not found on Earth, the air smelled of oil and petrol.

  Xil put his hand on the small of my back and gently pushed me forward, out of the Jade and into the chaos of Kitt-Y-6.

  Circling around strange-looking space ships, we hurried out of the hangar to a sleek elevator.

  "Hop in," Matar said with a grin. He seemed just as excited as me about being on the space station.

  As soon as all four of us were inside the spacious cabin, the doors closed and a holographic...thing appeared in the centre. It was clearly alien, but I wasn't sure what gender, age, or even what materials it was made from. It resembled a block of yellow gelatine with several slits all around it that could have been eyes, mouths or something altogether different. It bobbed gently up and down and grew in size every few seconds before constricting again. Breathing? Without that movement, I would have assumed it to be some kind of artificial intelligence, but I instinctively knew it to be sentient. The being looked the same from all sides, so I wasn't sure if I was looking at its front or back. I supposed it didn't matter.

  "Shopping platform three," Xil requested, clearly used to this alien's strange appearance.

  "Have you completed your immigration forms?" the being replied in English. Well, it probably didn't, but I heard English, so that was all that mattered.

  "We have," Xil confirmed and lifted his hand, pressing a button on his wrist communicator.

  The gelatine blob vibrated, then turned from yellow into red.

  "Invalid forms. You will be taken to a secure location."

  I stared at the guys. This sounded bad.

  "There's been a mistake," Xil argued, his voice calm and collected. "Check them again. Everything is as it should be."

  The blob's expression didn't change - because it didn't have an expression in the first place - but its red faded into a dark orange.

  "Full biosignature required. Please press against the walls and stay still until I tell you to move."

  This was becoming stranger and stranger. Not how I'd imagined a shopping trip to the space station. It didn't bode well for the rest of our time here.

  "Stand against the wall," Xil told me. "It's painless, just a quick scan to confirm that we're the species we say we are."

  "How could we pretend to be another species?" I asked and stepped back until my bum hit the cold elevator wall.

  "There are ways. Not that I'm familiar with any of them, of course." Xil gave me a wink.

  The elevator began to shake slightly, and I was glad I was pressed against the wall for support. My skin tingled, and a shiver ran down my back.

  "Scan complete. Three Kardarians, one human. Interspecies sexual contact confirmed."

  "Why do they need to know that?" I whispered, a blush heating my cheeks.

  "What is your relationship with these males?" the cube asked me, flashing an alarming red. "Mate, slave, partner, adopted sibling, teacher, student, breeder, nurse, pet-"

  "Mate," I interrupted it before it could go any further. "I'm their mate."

  It felt good to say that.

  The alien stopped flashing and returned to a calming yellow. "Truth verified. Please note that slavery is forbidden on Kitt-Y-6. Should your relationship status change, please notify one of the attendant
s. Transporting you to shopping platform three. Have a pleasant time."

  Matar

  I slammed my tail against the elevator when we exited. That klatting thing had spoiled the beginning of our excursion. Trish seemed a little downcast, but her expression brightened as soon as she took in our surroundings. It had been a good choice to start with platform three. This was the place where merchants from all across the galaxy came to show off their bestselling wares. The other shopping platforms were more specific, while this was a treasure finder's paradise. There was everything from food to clothing to technology.

  "This is amazing," Trish gasped. I had to smile at seeing her so stunned. I remembered my first visit to Kitt-Y-6. It was unlike any other space station. Others were more strict with what could be sold, while here the only rule was no slaves and no weapons. Of course, some merchants would sell you guns and ammunitions if you had the right passwords, but as long as no violence erupted on the station, the officials turned a blind eye.

  "What smells so delicious?" our human asked and wrinkled her adorable nose.

  "About a hundred different dishes," Havel laughed. "You'll have to be more specific."

  "Let's have a wander," I suggested. "When you see or smell something interesting, we'll stop to take a closer look. The only thing we really need is some more clothes for you, but I assume we'll end up with bags full of other stuff."

  Xil, Havel and I had listened to a lesson by Professor Katila on shopping with females. It had been an eye-opener. I had no idea females were this obsessed with acquiring new possessions. Katila had given us some pointers on how to resist, but I knew I couldn't resist whenever Trish fluttered her eyelashes and looked at me with a pleading expression that promised I'd be rewarded for giving in. We'd need to stock up on some of her favourite foods and treats, or I wouldn't get to see that lash-fluttering as often. She had a strange taste and liked dishes I wouldn't have touched even if someone paid me to eat them, but after all, she was a different species.