Alien Abduction for Professionals Read online

  Beside me, Matar was breathing hard, and I felt exhaustion creep up on me, too. None of us did much exercise. Now I regretted that. We'd done some weightlifting before we'd abducted Trish - the course had recommended for us to look our best so to attract our female - but that was a while ago now. I swore I would do regular cardio as soon as we were safely back on the Jade.

  Finally, four figures came into view. Large, bulky, bipedal. It was too dark to see much more than that. I increased my speed even further. They weren't going to get away. One of them carried something on his shoulders. Trish?

  "Ari, dial Trish," I commanded my communicator. I usually preferred manual input, but I wanted to keep my eyes on the abductors.

  A traditional Kardarian folk dance started playing in front of us. Yes, they had Trish with them. I was glad I'd already set up her communicator.

  "Stop!" Xil roared as soon as we got close enough for them to hear us.

  They didn't even turn around, just kept running. Where were they even going? There was nothing up here. If they wanted to take them to their ship, they'd have to use one of the elevators, but they'd passed two of them already without stopping. Not that I wanted them to take a lift. I wasn't sure if the warden had alerted security. There was no time to check.

  Once we got closer, I finally recognised the aliens. Tarpartians. Yuck. Since they hadn't actually developed spaceflight yet, there weren't many of them. They had the advantage of their planet having an extraordinarily strong gravitational pull, which had led many a spaceship to crash land on Tarpa. Scavenging parts and repairing ships, they'd somehow managed to reach nearby space stations. While they weren't very bright, they'd soon become known to be excellent bodyguards. They were loyal, tough, greedy and lacked morals. They'd do pretty much anything for the right incentive, like abducting a human. I doubted it was them who'd had the idea. They were just lackeys for whoever had really orchestrated the kidnapping. Had this been random or had they wanted Trish for some reason? In most places, humans weren't known at all since the only ones travelling the galaxy were those who'd been abducted. Peritus was making its first small steps towards the stars, but it would still take a while for them to be able to reach their closest planets, let alone a space station like Kitt-Y-6.

  No, it had to have been random. That changing room had been a trap for the first person to step into it.

  "Stop right now!" Xil bellowed once more.

  The Tarpartians didn't care. Luckily, they were slower than us. They were about our height but had a lot more bulk. And I wasn't talking about just muscles. Their body fat index had to be through the roof.

  Just when we got close enough to launch our attack, they turned around as one, guns drawn, pointing right at us. Trish was slung over the shoulder of the tallest Tarpartian, struggling against his grip.

  "Don't worry, Trish," I called out to her, and she lifted her head. Her hair was dishevelled and her eyes were rimmed with red, but otherwise, she seemed unharmed.

  "Thank A'Ta," Matar exclaimed under his breath.

  Even though I didn't believe in the deity, I felt the same relief. Now we just had to deal with the guns. We carried no weapons, so we had a problem. Not one I couldn't solve though. They were basic beta-laser-guns, the cheapest on the market. Perfect. Without taking my gaze off them, I typed into my communicator. I'd practised this so often I could do it in my sleep.

  "Leave," the Tarpartian carrying Trish burped. Yes, he burped. It was how Tarpartian language sounded to anyone who wasn't a native speaker. Our translators turned it into actual words, but while the translation was delivered right into my brain, I could still hear their burping. It was disgusting. Probably one of the reasons why nobody wanted Tarpartians anywhere near them if they could help it. Unless of course you needed a scrupulous bodyguard. I assumed most people hiring them told them not to speak if it could be avoided.

  "Return our human," Xil snarled. "She's ours."

  "Not anymore," the grey alien burped. His mouth was so large that it created an echo chamber for the sound.

  "What do you want with her?" I asked, playing for time. I still needed a moment to work on my communicator.

  "None of your business," the Tarpartian on the right burped. "Now run off before we shoot you."

  I pressed the final button and coughed, signalling Xil and Matar. The deed was done.

  "Then shoot us," Xil grinned. "What are you waiting for?"

  "No!" Trish shouted and struggled even harder. I hope she didn't hurt herself trying to get away from her captor. She had no chance of escaping his grip, as much as it pained me to admit that. Maybe we should teach her some self-defence skills. It wouldn't help her much when confronted with a burly Tarpartian, but it might aid her in less dangerous circumstances. You never knew what deranged aliens who might encounter in space.

  The Tarpartians looked at each other.

  "She told us not to harm them," the male carrying Trish muttered, barely loud enough for my translator to pick up his words.

  "We should have taken stun guns," the one on the left whispered, and I realised it was a female. She looked exactly like the males, only her voice was slightly softer and her mouth smaller. Her burps were just as disgusting, though.

  "I'm sure she won't mind if we kill them. She's only interested in the female," the Tarpartian who'd threatened us said.

  "Come on, shoot us," I shouted. "Stop wasting our time!"

  "What are you doing?" Trish screamed. "Are you insane?"

  I wished I could have told her what was going on, but there was no way to safely do so. In fact, her panic helped us. The Tarpartians didn't suspect a thing.

  "Fire on my command," the largest one burped.

  I turned to Xil and Matar and gave them a wink, just in case. Everything was going to be fine.

  "This is your last chance-"

  "Just klatting do it," I interrupted him. "This is getting dull."

  I forced myself to take on a relaxed, almost bored posture.

  The Tarpartian snarled and pointed his gun right at me.

  "I warned you..." he burped and fired.

  Except that nothing actually happened. He stared at his gun and pressed the trigger once more. Nothing.

  Xil roared and launched himself at the closest Tarpartian. Matar and I followed suit, using their distraction to attack. Before he could react, I reached the one on the right and plunged my fangs into his fleshy neck. I didn't have any venom, not like other fanged species, but that didn't matter because I hit an artery and blood poured into my mouth. I pulled back and spat out the sour blood, before kneeing him in the groin. He went down, clutching his neck, looking at me in shock. I wasn't sure if this would be enough to make him bleed out - I'd never fought a Tarpartian before - but for now, he was down.

  "Havel, take Trish!" Xil commanded, and I didn't hesitate.

  The male who'd been carrying her had simply dropped her on the floor to defend himself. Idiot. I ran to her side and scooped her into my arms before running away from the battle.

  "Are you alright?" I demanded more harshly than I'd intended. "Are you hurt?"

  "I'm fine, thanks to you. They didn't hurt me. Said their employer didn't want me harmed."

  I growled. As soon as she was safe, we'd go after that employer. One of the Tarpartians had said that it was a female. That made it even more mysterious. A male may have wanted Trish as his human sex slave, but it was unlikely that a female would desire the same. Of course, some females preferred their own sex, but why choose a human?

  We reached the closest elevator and the doors slid open. As soon as we were inside, I pushed the button, locking us in. No warden waited for us; the spot in the centre where they usually hovered was empty. Maybe this elevator shaft wasn't used anymore. I didn't care. We were safe now.

  I set Trish down to inspect her, just in case she was injured after all. They'd bound her hands with wire, but it didn't take me long to get it off her. As soon as her arms were free, she clung to me. I held he
r tight, breathing in her scent, feeling her press against my body. Only now did the shock of almost losing her sink in.

  "Trish," I whispered, but then there was no more time for words. I captured her lips and kissed her like I was starving. She cupped my face and locked me in place, returning the kiss just as passionately. She tasted sweet and spicy at once, even better than piki cakes. Her tongue swiped against my fangs, and I realised they were still more extended than they should be. I concentrated and slowly retracted them until just the tips poked out between my normal teeth. I didn't want to hurt her.

  I held her, vowing to never let her go again. I was going to get a leash and keep her by my side, not letting her out of my sight. She was too precious to endanger. We should never have left her alone. From now on, one of us would always be with her. Especially until we knew who'd wanted to abduct her.

  My communicator beeped. It had to be the others. I realised they wouldn't know where we'd disappeared to. Without breaking the kiss, I pushed the button to take the call.

  But it wasn't my friends who spoke.

  "Congratulations, you've passed the test."

  I was going to kill her.

  Trish

  I glared at the Professor, still not quite able to believe it had all been her doing. We were back on the Jade's bridge, all huddled together. I was on Xil's lap, but Havel had his hand on my thigh, and Matar leaned against me, his head on my shoulder. They'd not let go of me on the way here. Even while I'd showered and changed clothes, Xil had been with me. If Professor Katila hadn't been waiting for our call, I knew we'd be in bed now, all of us, claiming each other.

  The shock still sat deep in my bones. Even now that I knew it hadn't been real, I was still on the verge of having a nervous breakdown. While I'd been carried off by that alien, I'd not allowed my fear to take hold of me. Now, it was close to overwhelming me. Only the guys' touch kept me from falling apart.

  "You have done extremely well," Professor Katila said, giving us a smile. Bitch. "Top marks for all of you. Of course, you need to write a full report for our case study, but there's no doubt about your grade. You didn't hesitate once you found out your abductee had disappeared. You wasted no time in following her. I expected you to contact security or find some weapons, but I liked your method of disabling the Tarpartians' guns even more. Very effective. I also appreciate that you didn't kill them. I'd planned for that possibility, of course, but it does save me some paperwork."

  "Why did you do that?" I accused her. "Do you have any idea how scary that was?"

  She ignored me and looked at Xil instead. "You have proven excellent leadership. I might invite you to record a presentation on how you trained your team."

  "I didn't train them," he said in a quiet, dangerous tone. "We grew up together. We had the same teachers. And if you were here right now, I'd show you some of the techniques they taught us."

  Professor Katila didn't react to the threat. "As I said, I require a full report. That was your first practical assessment of this course, a second will follow soon. You'll have some time to prepare for that one."

  "How generous," Matar huffed.

  "Next, I'd like you to look after your female. She's been through quite a lot and needs to be reassured that she's safe with you. I've uploaded some presentations and readings on nest building for you."

  I stared at her. "Nest building? Humans don't build nests."

  Her third eye looked straight at me, making a shiver run down my spine. Her normal eyes were fixed on the guys, looking at each one of them in turn.

  "You might want to get some building supplies from the space station while you're still there. Turn your bedroom into the ideal breeding environment. You'll want soft, warm colours, lights that can be dimmed, lots of pillows and soft furnishings. You already have a large enough bed, but maybe invest in a better mattress. You-"

  "I don't need a nest and I don't breed," I hissed. I wanted to throw something at her, something sharp and dangerous.

  "You may change your mind," she said, completely ignoring my protest. "Besides, Kardarians build nests, and we wouldn't want to deprive your males of that."

  I looked at the guys. All three had murderous expressions painted across their faces. If Katila had been on the ship with us, she'd be dead by now.

  Somehow, I doubted this arrangement would last much longer. How desperate were the guys to get their qualification? Now that they had me, they weren't' going to abduct anyone else. I was their one and only abductee. They were planning to go back to being traders again once they'd completed this course. Maybe I could convince them to do it sooner rather than later. Professor Katila gave me the creeps. I wouldn't have been surprised if she had more plans for my guys. And me.

  "You have two days to complete this lesson," she continued. "Then we will have a debrief. I'll send you the time once I've squeezed you into my calendar."

  She made it sound as if we should be grateful that she took the time for us. Urgh. What a bitch.

  I breathed a sigh of relief when the screen went black. The only good thing about this conversation was that she'd distracted me from my fear.

  Xil pressed a kiss on my shoulder. His lips were softer than ever. Yummy.

  "We'll figure it out," he said soothingly. "I won't forget what she did to you. We'll make her pay for it."

  The other two nodded.

  "I don't care about that certificate," Matar growled. "She harmed our mate. There's no way I'm letting her get away with that."

  "We," Havel corrected. "We will punish her."

  Relief flooded me. I'd know they'd put me first, but it was good to hear how they were no longer motivated to complete their alien abduction course.

  "Are you really going to build me a nest?" I asked them. "Humans don't have nests. Chickens, yes. Humans, no."

  "Yes, we shall make you a nest, my little chicken," Xil laughed. "Whatever that may be."

  I groaned. "A chicken is a bird, not a term of endearment."

  "I think it sounds cute," Havel said, and I knew I'd made a mistake. From now on, I was going to be their chicken.

  "Do Kardarians have nests?" I asked.

  "We do. Males build them for their females as proof of their love and devotion," Matar explained. "They can take many shapes and forms. It's mostly a space for the couple - or multiple mates - to withdraw to. Somewhere to feel safe and at home. Unlike for egg-laying species, a nest isn't for incubating younglings. We use it to increase the bond between mates."

  "And to breed," Xil added with another laugh. "That's why she suggested a better mattress."

  I had to admit, I had no issue with more sex. After what we'd been through, I wanted them to hold me. To merge with me. To become one. It was the ultimate feeling of safety when I was in their arms. Nothing could harm us while we were together.

  "I still find it weird," I admitted. "Nest sounds so... alien."

  Matar snorted. "Glad you're only now noticing how you're an alien."

  "You're the aliens," I shot back. "Humans are the centre of the universe."

  "Of course they are," Havel said mildly. "Now you stay here with Xil or Matar while I start making that nest for you. We can order materials from the station without having to go outside again. They'll be delivered straight to the Jade."

  "Can't I help?"

  "No. Nest building is a task for us to do to honour our mate. But if you want, you can watch Katila's lesson about it and tell us the gist of it, just in case she asks us questions." I could hear him rolling his eyes without turning my head. "Every Kardarian male knows how to make a nest for their female. It's preposterous that she even sent us a presentation on it."

  "I'll need snacks. Have the piki cakes arrived yet?"

  The guys laughed. The sound dispelled all remaining anxiety, and I finally felt warm again. I was ready to forget about today's nightmare and move on to new, strange things. Like a nest.

  * * *

  In the end, all three of them disappeared, leaving me
on the bridge with a piki cake and something resembling a smoothie. As much as I liked popcorn when watching films, this was even better. The cake dissolved in my mouth, letting flavours explode with every bite. I no longer cared what it was made of. All I cared about was knowing that we had lots of them stashed in the galley kitchen.

  Instead of Professor Katila, another alien appeared on the screen when I started the pre-recorded lesson. I thought I'd seen some of his kind on the space station, but I didn't know the name of his species. He reminded me of a red frog with bulbous eyes, an enormous mouth and something like gills on his neck. His teeth were sharp, turning him from a harmless frog into a predator. He wore a toga-like robe, hiding most of his body. Only one arm was visible, making me curious how many limbs he was hiding beneath the toga.

  "Welcome to this lesson," he said with a surprisingly soft voice. "Today we'll be discussing the traditional art of nest building. While all species have their own techniques, many share a common basic concept that we'll look at in detail. We will also examine why nests are the way to your female's heart or hearts and how you can use them to strengthen your bond. In the final part of the lesson, we will cover incubating eggs. If you belong to a species who doesn't lay eggs, you're allowed to skip that.”

  I was grateful for that. Although it might be fun to find out more about aliens who laid eggs. I couldn't imagine having an egg inside of me... but as the guys continuously pointed out, humans were just one of many species in the universe. The aliens I'd seen on the shopping platform had mostly been bipedal and breathed oxygen, but that's because we hadn't been on any of the other platforms. Xil had explained that there were various platforms depending on customers' needs, whether they needed water to swim in, nitrogen to breathe, lower gravity or other requirements. It would have been fun to take a look at some of those, but then, I wouldn't have been able to survive there without some sort of spacesuit.

  I focused on the teacher again. I realised he'd never introduced himself. Maybe he'd done other lessons before and assumed students would know his name. For now, I decided to call him Professor Frog. Was that speciest?